The majority of my role models are women

I have always been surrounded by powerful and successful women in my life and I think that has heavily influenced my life for the better. There has always been the idea that gay men and women have a bond and understand each other, I do understand this as we are both attracted to men however it really fascinates me as to how women and gay men interact with each other. It has only been a recent occurrence in my life where I have male friends, from a young age I have always levitated towards women and till this day I have many female role models. This is something which could be discussed forever and researched heavily both socially and scientifically but I just wanted to touch the surface of my thoughts.

On RuPaul's Drag Race, Lady Gaga said that without gay men she would not be the woman she is today and that really resonated with me because without women I don't think I would be the man I am today. I understand that my way of writing seems to be outcasting people who don't associate with either gender or are more fluid however in a way I think it does because doesn't what Lady Gaga said show that we are all actually similar?

Sometimes I feel isolated from other men, not all men and not all the time but there are times where women confide in me and ask me why the boy they like is acting the way they are and I can't even answer the question and I'm a male myself. I myself don't understand how some men act and think, this frustrates me because I like to be in control and understand everything which is not ideal as there are many things in this world which are not in my control. Maybe I don't understand some men because of the laws of attraction and because you are attracted to someone therefore you cannot understand them fully? I am trying to link this to the title however I feel as if I'm going off on a tangent.

What I am trying to get with talking about not fully understanding men is that maybe I understand women more although I could never totally understand what a woman goes through as I am not female. Is the idea of being a gay man having a dose of femininity and masculinity? However I'm not sure if that completely makes sense because I know many men who identify as gay but who do not have stereotypical female qualities. My mind is in a total, excuse my french, head fuck right now although I feel good being able to really get my teeth into something and find different perspectives within my own mind.

The idea of having female role models could stem from the idea that gay men rather than straight men and women have both been oppressed throughout history? Maybe that is where that connection comes from? I do personally have such a strong relationship with all the women in my life so that could be fathomable? And does seem like a valid point as it is human nature for people to bond through shared experiences.

I truly admire women so much and they have had to fight for everything they've got very much like the gays before me or any other oppressed group of people. I cannot tell you how many women inspire me daily from my mother to Alice Walker to Cynthia Erivo to name a few. I genuinely could go on all day with women who have an impact in my life. However I won't because this would end up just being a list of names.

I do not really know what has actually come out of writing this post however I feel that is opened up some interesting points and its something I would like to write about and discuss more. So sorry if this is all over the place.

Lots of love

George x

Homophobic rhetoric- what's your opinion?

I was listening to Pandora Sykes and Dolly Alderton's revamped podcast, The High Low and they were talking about this topic and it made me realise that this issue does still need to be discussed and the points they both made were so valid. It's now inspired me to interject a voice into this conversation.

The story that they were discussing was about a man who was suing his firm for allegations of homophobia from his colleagues. The allegations consisted of verbal abuse towards him and the company's response was that he instigated the use of language as he used it himself. This issue of reclaiming language that was previously used as a method of oppression is common among groups of people who have previously experienced oppression. However the argument stems from whether or not it should be acceptable for these slurs to be used.

I have had conversations with gay men who have found it difficult to come to terms with using the word 'queer' when it comes to talking about the community as for years it has been used to torment gay teens in the school corridors or an effeminate male walking along the street. As the word's original connotations come from being strange or odd. Although the word queer was first starting to be reclaimed by the gay community in the 1980s to change the meaning and evoke an overall outlook on the LGBT identity. However it wasn't till 2015 that 'Q' was added to the LGBT umbrella. The reason for this is because the term queer has been coined in regards to gender, it neglects society's previous rules and this liberates many genderqueer or nonconforming people by giving them a label. Labels are not for everyone but comfort is often found in being able to put a name to who you are.

There is evidence to show that the claim of queer from the LGBTQ community is in fact a positive act. However there is still controversy when using the word queer in the gay community because of it's long history of being a derogatory term. This could be seen to parallel with black people and the use of 'n*****'? Although there are people who argue that it's the perfect label as you don't have to put yourself in a box, a label for people who like labels maybe? As it's such a broad term. This debate is still ongoing and in regards to homophobic rhetoric, it is still used as a slur against gay people similarly to the racial slurs being used to discriminate against black people.

The word 'queer' is definitely a phrase which still comes to down your personal opinion if you use it. It depends whether you see the good that overshadows the evil in which it was previously used.

On the other side of the discussion is the use of words such as 'f*g' and 'f****t'. Words that still hold incredibly negative connotations however there are gay men who find using these words liberating although many gay men still find these words offensive. Again this is relevant to slurs used against other communities. It again comes down to opinion. I knew someone who was gay and their friend in a joking way would call them 'f****t' however he did not see the humorous side to this and I remember our conversation about this. He said at first he didn't think anything of it but then one day he felt it began to be too repetitive and reminded him of previous experiences. After our chat, he did tell her not to call him and out of respect she didn't which was a good scenario. However you can expect that people are not always that understanding.

When approaching this subject it is definitely down to personal opinion and what you feel comfortable saying. Acknowledging what is appropriate for you to say and understanding that some words should only be said by certain groups of people is so vital.

I genuinely think this is an interesting debate and should be continued to be discussed as it is such a meaty topic.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this issue.

Lots of love 

George x

My New York City Outfits

It's been over a month since I've posted on here and I feel awful about it. Last month was just so full on, I couldn't find the inspiration to write but I feel like I'm back now and I'm all rejuvenated. 

I wanted to write a little bit about my time in New York City, if you haven't already I'd love it if you checked out my first vlog on YouTube documenting my trip. 

I felt quite anxious on the way to New York as it is somewhere that I have idolised since I was very young and I was wary that I built it up to much maybe? However that was most certainly not the case, I completely fell in love and it was even more of a romantic affair than I imagined. It didn't feel alien at all, it felt right, I felt at home which I was so overjoyed about. I just want to go back now, it's almost like a drug, you have withdrawals when you leave. I desperately tried not to act like a tourist but that was incredibly unsuccessful. As you will be able to see in the video, I was very excitable. 

I'm currently writing this in Pret, the mothership, obviously. Whilst people watching outside the window, daydreaming and trying to recreated those NYC moments in my mind. What I can remember most about my trip was deciding what I was going to wear, New York has always been such a symbol of fashion to me. Television shows I grew up with such as Sex and the City and Ugly Betty have such a fashion orientated vibe I felt that I had to impress those characters which have always stuck with me.   I really wanted to branch out of my comfort zone and put together outfits that I hadn't have worn before. So here are some of my favourites.

There is just something about an outfit which makes memories for me, I now associate these pieces with my trip and it makes me smile. So I wanted to write a post so in years to come when I'm all old and grey I can look back and see what I was wearing back in 2017. 

I hope you're having a lovely week.

Lots of love 

George x

If I was on Desert Island Discs

Desert Island Discs is one of my favourite things on this earth and the other day I was sitting on the bus and thought, what would my eight discs be? So here they are.

I'm currently pretending I'm talking to Kirsty Young.

The first song is 'Lift Me Up' sung by Geri Halliwell, my Mum always says that when I was a baby and she put on this song I would stop crying. It makes me think about my Mum and it makes me calm down to this day.

The second disc I have chosen is 'Perfect Moment' sung by Martine McCutcheon, this song also reminds me of my Mum as this is our song. Just after I was born this song played on the radio and I cannot hear it without getting emotional, my Mum and I have always been so close and it just makes me remember happy memories from being small.

The third disc I have chosen is 'Spinning Around' sung by Kylie Minogue, I cannot remember my life without Kylie's music being the soundtrack to it. My Dad always played her music when I was young and this is my all time favourite Kylie track. It makes me think of Saturday mornings with my Dad, dancing along to a concert dvd that he had. It just makes me smile and it reminds me of my Dad and that's really special to me.

The fourth disc is 'How will I know' sung by Whitney Houston, Whitney is one of my favourite artists of all time. I have always adored her music and I can't imagine a world without her music. She is a true legend and I love nothing more than belting out her songs.

The fifth disc I have chosen is 'Buy me a rose' sung by Luther Vandross, soul music has always been a part of my life and it feeds my soul. It reminds me of my family, especially my Grandad and my Mum and Luther's voice is just liquid gold. I would say this my favourite track by him, why I also love this song because one of my closest friends loves this song too and I love sharing the specialness of this.

The sixth disc is 'I'm here' sung by Cynthia Erivo from the 2016-2017 rendition of the Broadway show, The Color Purple. This song makes me feel on top of the world and whenever I am down I sing this song and it instantly gives me a new lease of life. Her voice is magical and her talent as an actor is something I look up to tremendously.

The seventh song is 'Dancing Queen' sung by Abba, this song again has always been one of my favourite songs. It is my Auntie's favourite song and it just makes me think of her when I listen to it. As I am currently seventeen I listen to this song as much as I can as you're only the dancing queen once. Unless you're my Auntie who will always be.

The eighth song I have chosen is 'Love on top' sung by Beyoncé Knowles, I absolutely adore Beyoncé, she is truly a bad ass woman who slays my existence. I can remember being about seven years old dancing to her songs in my room. This one though instantly makes me happy and I love to dance to it.

Although if I had to choose one it would have to be Kylie's 'Spinning Around' because I could listen to it all day and never get tired of it.

So I've been given the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare, the book I would have to have is Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. As I could read it forever and never get tired of it, I love her writing style and the whole idea of the book. I am an Elizabeth Gilbert fangirl and proud.

Now a luxury, this was the thing that took me the longest to think of. This one has been used on a previous disc, Kylie's in fact but I would like a photo album filled with pictures of me, my family and my friends. I love to reminisce and I think the album could keep me occupied for some time.

Kirsty young, "Thank you for sharing your Desert Island Discs"

Me, "It was my pleasure to"

Queue the music...

Lots of love

George x

My train story

There is not really a compiled post today as I had quite an interesting evening.

I got on the train from my usual place back to my house however the train did not stop at my station. I thought, okay, I'll get off at the next one. It didn't stop there either. At this point my phone had 1% on it, I quickly wrote the person who was picking me up's number on my hand and then that minute my phone died.

I asked the girl in my carriage if I could borrow her phone and she let me and I tried to call the number multiple times although there was no response. I then texted and about twenty minutes later I got a reply. I then got talking to a boy on the train and all three of us teamed together and worked out how we were going to get home.

We ended up taking the longest route to what we thought was Cannon Street and then ended up at London Victoria. We got off the train at the platform and walked up towards the guard and asked when the next train was, he pointed to the exact one we were on. We then got straight back on it and went back down into Kent. Going the long way again. We ended up chatting, reading newspapers and playing MASH to pass the time.

It took us 2 and a 1/2 hours in the end for a fifteen minute journey, so if you can imagine, I was really pleased.

Anyway that was my Friday night adventure, hopefully yours wasn't as eventful.

Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Lots of love

George x