Dear Me,
You are experiencing your first crush, this is normal and completely natural. The fact he is a boy is also normal and completely natural, treasure this feeling and embrace it. It doesn't matter that you haven't seen anyone else who you can relate to. You will and your world will be brought into technicolour. I know you still might be feeling lonely because of this feeling but I can assure you soon you will meet people who light up your world just because you are who you are.
You will never tell this boy how you feel as you are only seven and these feelings will not go beyond you wanting to hold his hand or kiss him on the cheek but you will not regret having those feelings because they have made you realise who you are. Yes you will have crushes on girls after this however this will be due to society and it's expectation of you.
Don't lose heart, this will be a journey and one of the most important of your life. There will be ups and there will also be downs, there will be times where you are confused, frustrated and angry at yourself for feeling these feelings. I can tell you now being nearly eighteen that there is absolutely no need to be angry at yourself, it is part of you and you're going to soon embrace it, love it and it will bring you so much joy.
You will start to enjoy having crushes on boys, you'll enjoy the thought of you potentially marrying the man you love and not feel shamed for it not being a woman. You will also get your heart broken and it will be difficult, you'll feel shit. However you'll get over it and take the lessons you'll learn from it and start a new chapter.
You have all this to look forward to and I'm excited for you, keep being your brave self and fasten your seat belt because it is going to be one hell of a ride.
Lots of love
17 and 8 month year old you x
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